Saturday, October 18, 2008


Continuing the vision stories from the last post..For those of you out there who used to identify me by my glasses,,I'm sorry to say, you won't recognise me anymore!!! Sorry to disappoint you guys, but i switched to contact lenses..As with pretty much everything around me, there's a story behind this too..

TimeLine-->August 2008
After i started working, within about a month, it seemed like my power was increasing again, after 3 years of remaining constant! !(By now i didn't need either star sports or the boring game of cricket to figure this out...Any channel on TV would do! :D)..The primary suspects being that i'm staring too much at the computer and not blinking enough and not taking breaks and blah blah blah...The normal reasons everyone gives in a similar scenario..So, i made a conscious effort to take breaks, and look at things far away, blink more etc etc..But still it didn't help...Then came the advice from my sis to change to lenses, on the pretext that the power doesn't increase if i wear them..Being a guy,, i dream of a time with more power for EVERYTHING, the power of my eyes is the one thing i DONT want to increase!!So, i decided to make the big switch...Soon I'd started taking of my glasses from time to time and looking in the mirror,,thinking how different i look!!(And NO,,,that wasnt cos i couldnt see well without my glasses!!!)

I just got my first (spendable) salary..Orders from higher athaurity said "first give to god,,then spend on everyone else". (Such Orders from higher athorities are non debatable, non questionable issues,,failing which ......NO,,,dont think about it...there is not question of failure.....)..So, the immediate saturday i got up early, took bath and went to a temple and made a sizeable contribution to the hundi..
Then, i proceeded to the next noble task..To get myself my new contacts!!!

Walking into the store, trying to look like a cool,fashionable contact lens user,spewing out the best english i could,,i said to the optician.."I want to get contacts. First, i'd like to get my eyes checked"..With the similar amount of style he goes and does a long range, 'shahi thuuk' of the guthka/pan he was chewing and says "wahaa pe baitho"...So i sat there feeling like a big goof thinking how times have changed..

Eye-checkup for change in power turned negative results..My power hadn't changed!!
Apparently my spects were too old and scratched,,and THATS why i couldn't see too well !! But once the descision was made, i decided to go ahead..To get lenses as precaution..

The next step was to learn how to wear them..I thought,,"How difficult can it be??,,my sis wears em in less than a minute everyday". So the optician told me the procedure..Pretty simple..What followed, was a series of attempts to put them in..(in approx order and numbering)
attempt 1-->Then he(optician) said he'll do the honours, and takes the lens, holds my eye open and starts poking his bloody finger in my eye!!!! My eyelid was stronger than his finger and instantly shut! Noone's going to poke my eye while i look at it..Its like watching a knife coming into your stomach and you just sitting there letting it happen...NO WAY!!!

attempt 2-->After some persuasion, i decided to hold my eyelid open and set my mind on not closing the eyelid..Then came the finger...closer..closer... now at the distance of the Tome cruise MI knife scene..but my eye knew that i'm no secret agent!!! eyelid SHUT!! lens fell on my cheek..

attempt 6 -->Lens touch eye for the first time!!! Smile of joy erupted ! in abt 3 nanoseconds it the solution on the lens burned my eye..eye close again, out goes the lens..

attempt 7-10-->Eye touching...Eye burning..Eye closing...water problem solving..Optician getting irritated..
attempt 10-15-->My finger poking lens in my eye...Eye thinking,,"homemade knife or outsiders,,doesnt matter!!".. Eye shut..lens fall...

attempt 15-20-->optician poking finger..assistant jacking my eye open..DAMN! My eye lid is even stronger than the assistant!!!

and so on...

After some zillion attempts (by the optician and me) and abt 1 hr,,and about me being about 2 litres of tears lighter from one eye...It goes in !! After that eye watering for about 5 min more.. i could finally see ! oh,,such clarity!! i could barely feel anything in my eyes!! The jubilation at seeing my face from 20 feet away in a mirror,,without glasses!!in one word.. AWESOME!!
The optician was happy at the result of his hard work and was packing all the stuff..Then i reminded him..He put it in ONLY ONE EYE!!!

At max possible speed and brutality, with all the force the assistant could muster,,they put in the other lens in only 10 min !! They gave me numerous looks of disgust and said that girls get it done faster!!!
I'm sorry,,but girls are used to putting and poking weird things around their face and eyes..Its called MAKE-UP!!
So i walked out, with eyes still burning but a clear view of the world..Waiting to hear people comments on the change!!

Over the next few days, me putting and taking off lenses became sort of a spectacle for my friends..And some took great pleasure in seeing me teary eyed..It arose from the fact that i had irritated them forever and they couldnt do anything,,but now they could see me cry!!

Since, i have become pretty good at wearing em..It doesnt burn while i'm wearing em and 'no more tears' while wearing or taking em off..Some stunts were done some stunts here too!...i have worn them in a moving car and ,,
in an INTERVIEW!!!! Yes,,in a running interview(btw,,I was one of the ppl taking the interview!),,,while i was sitting there,,i rubbed my eye and out came the lens in my hand!!!! before anyone noticed,,i put it back in and continued as if nothing happened!!!

Note-->People!!!Stop asking if a person wearing spects has sight..Obviously they do!! Ask them if they need the spects to see better or for headaches,,presuming thats what you want to ask..(though i never really understood what difference it makes why the person is wearing em!)


  1. Also the " Take off your glasses , i want to see how you look without them " thingy .... and once u do, they go like " You look drunk !! " .... MAn that pisses me off !!

  2. well,,chances are pretty high THAT YOU ARE DRUNK!!

  3. Whoa! you are an inter"viewer" already??

  4. yuuuucckk... your contact lense guy does shahi paan thuks??? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN GOING LENSE SHOPPING?????

  5. btw this was a funny post adi hahaha :)