Monday, April 27, 2009

Don't try this at home!!

Continuing from the previous post about high-ness...

Place->College (Hostel)
Dateline-> Holi 2008

The last(and first) holi i spent in college i had a great time...Played like mad, started by putting colors on each other, then on teachers, on teachers dogs and then came back to raid the rooms of those who tried to "escape" without playing, broke down their doors and made them unrecognizable too,,, used up all the color we could find, then moved on, and used up all the mud we could find, and then ended the show by tearing down peoples shirts..Basically,,,GREAT FUN!!

Came back, almost dead tired from the 4-5 hours of playing in the jaipur sun...An long time in the bathroom later, we managed to get our appearance to mildly recognizable, we were even more tired, ready to drop asleep.. (Its something strange that bathing does!).. But then, came the "udti hui khabar"..Baba bhaang laaye hain!!!

This was something that just had to be done,, the holi would be incomplete without it...So with energy regained, i reached baba's room. There were 5 of us, baba, pandu, meena(this is not a girl), gujjin and me. There lay in front of us, the 3 balls of brownish-greenish, odorless (and as we realized later, almost tasteless) stuff.. The "experienced" people, baba and pandu, started the procedure of making it.. They couldnt get any thandai, so they brought jaljeera instead..(mistake!!).. We brought the cold water for it..This was supposed to be some high quality special stuff which we got our hands on..Baba said that usually one ball is good for 2 people, playing safe, we mixed 2 balls for the 5 of us..(mistake!!).. Mixing properly taking out all the lumps took a bit of time,, reminding us that we were all damn tired.. We drank the 2 litre bottle of 'jaljeera', with gujjin and pandu taking the lumps from the bottom with a spoon too..(mistake!!).. There was no light-headed feeling, no madness, nothing! We almost felt ripped off and asked if that really was bhaang!! But, as we were doing everything based on what we heard from people, we let it be as people said it takes a bit of time to sink in..

I went back and started watching a movie (a bit dissapointed!)..But about 45 min later, i started getting a bit of a headache.. Thinking its cos im so tired, ignored it at first, but after a while it increased a bit more,, so i thought its cos of the bhaang, and decided to go to gujjins room to ask if thats the case with him also... But when i entered meena's room, i saw meena and gujjin all troubled and irritated.. They were glad to see me and kept asking whats going on.. A couple minutes into it, they start saying "adi, kya kare?? dimaag kharaab ho raha hai.."..So i went to find people who were experienced in this.. 10 min later i returned, cos i couldn't find anyone, everyone was either asleep or had bhaang and was out of their senses!!! I remembered that one of my friends who had bhaang a few days back asked me to get water to calm him down... So i went back to tell them them that i'll get water..(mistake!!). They were even more agitated by now..They were losing all control.. gujjin started pleading to me to help him.. I told him i'll go get water, and then they both got all happy (and almost senti) at the prospect that i can help!! I went and brought water from the water cooler for them.. By this time i was feeling a bit tipsy, so i thought i'll make the sleep and get back to my room...When i reached their rooms....They were GONE!! Disappeared, nowhere in sight!! The rooms doors wide ajar, wallets, laptops, phones all of them just waiting to be stolen!! Gujjin, a complete baniya would die at the mere thought of this!!! It was only then the gravity of the situation actually hit me...

I locked their rooms, and set out to find them... I thought i should check up on the others.. Reached baba's room, and as i entered, i was greeted with much fanfare!! There lay baba, gujjin and meena.. And as i handed them the bottle of water,, the were looking up to me like i was a saviour sent from heaven!! They gulped down the water.. 5 min later,, they were saying its having no effect and got back to pleading! Gujjin started crying,, screaming,,"adi, get me out of this conscience man!! I dont like this...Please get me out of this conscience!!".. I knew that lassi/chach is supposed to be good.. So i told them i'll go get some.. They shouted back, almost in tears,,"yaar, hume chodd ke mat jaa..". By this time, even i was losing stability of movement..I somehow got out and went to a nearby friends room, woke him up and asked him to get it from outside.. Then we remembered that it was holi so all the nearby shops would be closed at this time... So i returned helplessly, empty handed to baba's room...

This was not taken well by them,, and gujjin burst into tears, screaming repeatedly, "please man,,,get me out of this conscience.."..And the others screaming out things on the same lines.. Then gujjin said : "When we have daaru , if we puke, the effect goes..Does that work here too?"..
Me: "I dont know, maybe it does..."(mistake again!!)
Gujjin: "Maybe it does.."
And within about a second, there was a foutain of goo spewing out his mouth!! We were baffled (to say the least)!! He just thought he should puke, and he'd done it!!

There's something about the smell of puke..the moment someone pukes, everyone around feels like puking, causing a chain reaction!! Its like a plague, only it spreads much much faster!! I am particularly susceptible to it and puke very easily... But i somehow controlled it and held gujjins head while he was puking.. And next thing i know, baba's puking on one side and meena on the other!!! This was too much for me to take, so i just left them with the freedom to paint the floor with the food they ate an hour ago, and started walking away..My control over myself was now faltering,, and so i was stumbling back to my room.. I was halfway there, when i saw some of the goo sticking to my slipper,,and then the smell went to my head like a shot so i ran to the bathroom and finally even i puked...

I was going to just leave the others be, considering i was loosing it, and couldn't control myself ...
I got to my room, started watching some new telugu movie i got recently, to get my mind off things and get rid off the (now-splitting) headache and maybe drop off to sleep... others would hopefully manage themselves...

but then,,,
whats the fun in life if problems in life were so simple to get rid off???

To be continued...


  1. That is a perfect recall ....
    Wait for it .. its gonna be Legendary :)

  2. Oh. My. God. I never heard this story, I sooooo wish I was there to watch it!! Gujju, come over to San Francisco in the summer dude and we'll revisit...? :D

  3. Trust me kix,,,,
    you don't want to see this...Seeing a bunch of guys crying and screaming arbitly is not at all fun...

  4. can't believe this! All these things happening while i was in the room directly opp to urs!

  5. All this was between 2 and 4.. I think u went back home by then... But if u were in the hostel,,BY GOD YOU SLEEP LIKE A LOG!!

  6. Adi, I never puked man....Vinod