Monday, April 27, 2009

Don't try this at home!!

Continuing from the previous post about high-ness...

Place->College (Hostel)
Dateline-> Holi 2008

The last(and first) holi i spent in college i had a great time...Played like mad, started by putting colors on each other, then on teachers, on teachers dogs and then came back to raid the rooms of those who tried to "escape" without playing, broke down their doors and made them unrecognizable too,,, used up all the color we could find, then moved on, and used up all the mud we could find, and then ended the show by tearing down peoples shirts..Basically,,,GREAT FUN!!

Came back, almost dead tired from the 4-5 hours of playing in the jaipur sun...An long time in the bathroom later, we managed to get our appearance to mildly recognizable, we were even more tired, ready to drop asleep.. (Its something strange that bathing does!).. But then, came the "udti hui khabar"..Baba bhaang laaye hain!!!

This was something that just had to be done,, the holi would be incomplete without it...So with energy regained, i reached baba's room. There were 5 of us, baba, pandu, meena(this is not a girl), gujjin and me. There lay in front of us, the 3 balls of brownish-greenish, odorless (and as we realized later, almost tasteless) stuff.. The "experienced" people, baba and pandu, started the procedure of making it.. They couldnt get any thandai, so they brought jaljeera instead..(mistake!!).. We brought the cold water for it..This was supposed to be some high quality special stuff which we got our hands on..Baba said that usually one ball is good for 2 people, playing safe, we mixed 2 balls for the 5 of us..(mistake!!).. Mixing properly taking out all the lumps took a bit of time,, reminding us that we were all damn tired.. We drank the 2 litre bottle of 'jaljeera', with gujjin and pandu taking the lumps from the bottom with a spoon too..(mistake!!).. There was no light-headed feeling, no madness, nothing! We almost felt ripped off and asked if that really was bhaang!! But, as we were doing everything based on what we heard from people, we let it be as people said it takes a bit of time to sink in..

I went back and started watching a movie (a bit dissapointed!)..But about 45 min later, i started getting a bit of a headache.. Thinking its cos im so tired, ignored it at first, but after a while it increased a bit more,, so i thought its cos of the bhaang, and decided to go to gujjins room to ask if thats the case with him also... But when i entered meena's room, i saw meena and gujjin all troubled and irritated.. They were glad to see me and kept asking whats going on.. A couple minutes into it, they start saying "adi, kya kare?? dimaag kharaab ho raha hai.."..So i went to find people who were experienced in this.. 10 min later i returned, cos i couldn't find anyone, everyone was either asleep or had bhaang and was out of their senses!!! I remembered that one of my friends who had bhaang a few days back asked me to get water to calm him down... So i went back to tell them them that i'll get water..(mistake!!). They were even more agitated by now..They were losing all control.. gujjin started pleading to me to help him.. I told him i'll go get water, and then they both got all happy (and almost senti) at the prospect that i can help!! I went and brought water from the water cooler for them.. By this time i was feeling a bit tipsy, so i thought i'll make the sleep and get back to my room...When i reached their rooms....They were GONE!! Disappeared, nowhere in sight!! The rooms doors wide ajar, wallets, laptops, phones all of them just waiting to be stolen!! Gujjin, a complete baniya would die at the mere thought of this!!! It was only then the gravity of the situation actually hit me...

I locked their rooms, and set out to find them... I thought i should check up on the others.. Reached baba's room, and as i entered, i was greeted with much fanfare!! There lay baba, gujjin and meena.. And as i handed them the bottle of water,, the were looking up to me like i was a saviour sent from heaven!! They gulped down the water.. 5 min later,, they were saying its having no effect and got back to pleading! Gujjin started crying,, screaming,,"adi, get me out of this conscience man!! I dont like this...Please get me out of this conscience!!".. I knew that lassi/chach is supposed to be good.. So i told them i'll go get some.. They shouted back, almost in tears,,"yaar, hume chodd ke mat jaa..". By this time, even i was losing stability of movement..I somehow got out and went to a nearby friends room, woke him up and asked him to get it from outside.. Then we remembered that it was holi so all the nearby shops would be closed at this time... So i returned helplessly, empty handed to baba's room...

This was not taken well by them,, and gujjin burst into tears, screaming repeatedly, "please man,,,get me out of this conscience.."..And the others screaming out things on the same lines.. Then gujjin said : "When we have daaru , if we puke, the effect goes..Does that work here too?"..
Me: "I dont know, maybe it does..."(mistake again!!)
Gujjin: "Maybe it does.."
And within about a second, there was a foutain of goo spewing out his mouth!! We were baffled (to say the least)!! He just thought he should puke, and he'd done it!!

There's something about the smell of puke..the moment someone pukes, everyone around feels like puking, causing a chain reaction!! Its like a plague, only it spreads much much faster!! I am particularly susceptible to it and puke very easily... But i somehow controlled it and held gujjins head while he was puking.. And next thing i know, baba's puking on one side and meena on the other!!! This was too much for me to take, so i just left them with the freedom to paint the floor with the food they ate an hour ago, and started walking away..My control over myself was now faltering,, and so i was stumbling back to my room.. I was halfway there, when i saw some of the goo sticking to my slipper,,and then the smell went to my head like a shot so i ran to the bathroom and finally even i puked...

I was going to just leave the others be, considering i was loosing it, and couldn't control myself ...
I got to my room, started watching some new telugu movie i got recently, to get my mind off things and get rid off the (now-splitting) headache and maybe drop off to sleep... others would hopefully manage themselves...

but then,,,
whats the fun in life if problems in life were so simple to get rid off???

To be continued...

Sunday, April 19, 2009


Being in college gives people a sort of license to be weird...Most of people do all kinds of funny stuff..Some people do funny stuff, some people do stupid stuff and other outright weird stuff, its all cool in college!! But then, its basic competitive human nature to want to go that one step further ,,And as few are born with the gift of being mad when they want to (ppl like this are mad most of the time though..),, the others fill the gap for the need to feel light-headed/mad by the means of sutta, daaru and ....and beyond....All for the high and,,well,, the license to be that much weirder!!

Lots of people get on a high and do stuff they would never think of..Loosing any traces of shame and sense that they had to begin with..Its not uncommon to see usually docile guys picking up fights, normally prim and proper girls swearing the world away at each other,, big, macho guys crying and serious/quite people laughing senseless and performing acts of daredevilry..Basically people tend to shed their self created boundaries to the world and do what they really want to (or at least try).. For those around, Once people reach this high, its either very painful, or very entertaining.. But more often than not, fun to watch...

So i thought i'll rate the funniest things i've seen people in college do when on a high...

3) Cause- Drunk
Effect- a guy, stripping down to his underwear, running around college screaming mummyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....

2)Cause - combination of all the things possible
Effect- Couple of guys, Driving around senselessly on bike, falling into a gutter, and having the bike fall on them!!! (Dont ask me how something like that happens!!)

1) Cause - bhaang
Effect - Laughing for 8 hours STRAIGHT !!! (Trust me, This is far more painful than the above!!)

And though number 3 and 2 make much better stories to tell, stories related to bhaang pretty much always leave you wondering....HOW ????
Stories of people laughing for hours together, eating despite being not hungry for hours together (simple you are about to explode..then toilet..then repeat!!), sleeping for around 30 hours straight and even taking bath uncountable number of times over and over again.... All these are things that actually happened...

It all made me wonder,,,whats with the stuff???? I have a simple funda in life, to try everything i can atleast once!!
I've tried daaru,,dont really like it,, doesn't seem to have effect on me..One of my friends, using all his "IITian dimaag" gave a very plausible reason for it...He said "People usually act mad when they are drunk...But you are like that all the time anyways, so it makes no difference to you.."..I can't say anyone's disagreed with his theory yet...
So come holi in final year,, i was in college...And no prizes for guessing what on top my "things to try out" list....

To be continued....

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The perfect day!!

I am not superstitious,, but i do believe in luck! (call that an oxymoron if you so please)..And i definitely believe, that when its your day,,it is YOUR day!!
So here goes abt perfect day i had recently...

Dateline-> March 2009
Place-> Gurgaon/delhi

Woke up saturday morning nice and fresh..I had surprisingly energizing sleep! Read the paper, got ready and realised it was a nice It was a nice pleasent day, so came to office taking my own sweet time..

As i reached office, i realised that i was late for some work i had to give in about an hour! It was about the training i had taken the day earlier, about which i was still on a high! Corrected the papers and gave them to the HR, who's a very punctual person.. Though i gave them a half hour late, she actually complimented me on the great job i had done! This day was getting better by the minute..

The mood was nice and cool in office..And after lunch i sat down to do some research for the next task i had to complete over the week.. Interesting new stuff, so it was nice learning things about it.. It tested the knowledge i already had at a conceptual level, so it made the work even more challenging and interesting! Finally after about 6 hrs of searching and almost at the point that i was starting to get bugged, i managed to get things working!!! The joy of getting something working after putting in a lot of effort and continuing even when you thought you can't, is something unparalleled!!

Was on a major high after the accomplishment, and told my senior that i'm done and am leaving for the day..He says, "Par aapko aaj LLD dena tha." . I asked back sadly,"aaj??" and made a sad face..And though i was leaving a bit early, i asked him if i could give it on monday...He smiled, and said "first half monday morning!"..And i was out of office in the next 10 seconds!

As i made my way to makhija's place(usually a painful trip changing 3 modes of transport, bus,then metro, then auto/bus), i got a bus surprisingly easily! And even got a seat! On the way it started drizzling, and i LOVE the rains!! The smell of mud and concrete when it rains is just something else!! Then i got into the metro and found a sat, and on both sides of me 2 good looking females came and sat! And then i even found an auto guy who i didnt have to scream at to charge a humanly payable amount to take me to my destination!! Nothing could go wrong that day!!

Once i reached, though it was 9:30 already, i wanted to go out cos i didnt want to eat at home.. Makhija initially refused, saying he hates rain..On asking why, he gave me one of the most concise and graphic descriptions ever! He said
"When it rains,, road pe pada hua 10 din puraana gobar ZINDA ho jaata hai!! zinda ho ke, it flies around onto everyone, and is more active than ever before!!"
It was a point i couldn't really argue with!! But still, after a little coaxing from me, he agreed and we set out! I got to drive an FZ16, while it was raining !!! Getting to enjoy, great rains, an awesome bike and overall a great day,, all in one!!!

When we reached the mall, i was on a high and in the mood to go to a fancy place..So when moved towards the fancy place there, and on the way makhija tells me, its a disco!!! I can't dance to save my life, and was drenched cos i was driving, and he was in slippers!! But on a day like that,,,we were invincible!! So we walked in hoping we won't be denied entry!

And as we hoped, When we reached the place,, the guys outside lead us inside, no questions asked!! Once inside, the place i was in was a cool place with a quadranlge in the centre, and a stage for a DJ/band, it was 2 levels with the centre open through, giving a balcony type view to the ppl on top..There was a fancy bar and all the disco lights and stuff!! Only one problem...
No of hot
No of
DJ playing cool songs....nope...
The place was empty!!!! The only ppl there were the ppl working!! For some strange reason the whole place was empty!! No wonder they didnt even ask us when we were entering!! Not willing to be an "different" in this case, we walked out...

Ended up eating something at the food court, which was, a bigger fraud than usual..
Strike 2...
Then we were looking for a movie, found a naseerudin shah movie running "baarah anaa"..It was a movie in which naseerudin shah doesnt talk for the whole first half!!! Overall, an OK movie...Expected more from a naseerudin shah movie...
Strike3!! (i could almost hear the sound in my head,,"you're out!!")

And so ended my perfect day!!
Will i still call it perfect? Definitely...Why?? Cos there's no such thing as PERFECT!! The day you think that perfection is absolute,, and that the day is perfect beyond anything else,,is the day you've stopped trying or enjoying!!
If you don't want to take my word for it,, try some other famous ppl!
"Have no fear of perfection
You'll never reach it."
-Salvador Dali

So,,,is today a perfect day?? Yes!!!
Why?? Its my sis's bday!!

Happy birthday akka!!